I remember…the à la Mode.

A NHL Playoffs Round One Game 7 Recap as told by an old school, fair weather Stars fans while sitting on his couch and drinking cheap Mexican beer.

I’m thinking there might be a lot riding on this playoff game.

For Dallas more than the Stars.

This city needs this win.

Because this city is bleeding out from recent sports losses.

The billionaire owners of the Mavs are doing everything they can to move the team to Las Vegas.

The Texas Rangers are sucking ass lately, two seasons removed from the most unexpected World Series victory after the most unexpected season.

I don’t know if we even play soccer in this town anymore. Are the Sidekicks still a thing?

Women’s Basketball might be a boom soon but who knows what their new rookie will do when their season begins. And when does their season begin?

And don’t even get me started on the Cowboys and the Joneses.

So…If the Stars lose tonight, the city of Dallas loses. Again. And then all we have left are the Arts and bicycle lanes and that new Chuy’s that just opened up in Lakewood.

2 minutes before the game begins and I’m already learning random stats against my will.

Such as…apparently the Stars coach doesn’t lose Game 7 games and the Avalanche don’t ever win their Game 7’s. I’m sure that won’t blow up in our faces. Wait, stop. Don’t think like a Texas Rangers fan. This is Hockey.

I’m no stranger to hockey. I’ve been around. Watched a few Stanley Cups.

In fact, I’ve watched the only Stanley Cup victory the Stars ever won, waaaay back as a Freshman in high school. It was a game that lasted 17 hours (it felt like 17 hours) and the game ended with a controversial game-winning goal. Honestly, It’s been a long time since I watched that game, but I think a lot of diehard hockey fans were angry with the ending. Something about a scandal involving a foreign object and a manager named Sneaky Pete. Or was that a wrestling match from the 80’s? It was decades ago and the Stars won, so who cares?

Back to the present. It’s anyone’s guess here tonight who will win at the American Airlines Center…3 miles from my home where I sit and am set for what should be a helluva game.

And I’m all prepped. And not because I watched a block of Letterkenny and Shoresy episodes. No, my mind and body and blood alcohol content are at one…and I’m all ready to go.

One minute until game time and I’m just sitting down to some pork rib fajitas straight off my grill and I’m 4 negro modelos deep.

Let’s hockey!!!

Wait, it’s 7:05pm and they’re just letting the hockey analysts talk. And talk and talk and speculate and heresay. Where’s Roy Kent when you need him to take his microphone off and storm outta the booth? (What a great episode)

This is not what I wanted to watch with my fajitas dinner, but it’ll do. It’s too late anyways. Also, this is the first time I’ve tried pork rib meat in my fajitas and it’s so good. The lady at the Fiesta clearly indicated that she didn’t have a clue what I was asking her but I trusted her smile and …I wasn’t let down at all.

Time has passed…and the Dinner’s done…and they’re still talking!!! My god, just play already….But wait, new music, and a game intro. I think this means it’s hockey time for real now. The Hockey ‘experts’ have finished their discussions and predictions.

Let’s hockey!!

If you know nothing about the Dallas Stars…know this. Their theme song was recorded by Pantera.

Hockey. Metal. Music. No other team in sports has a team song this fucking cool.

Electricity building.

199th Game 7 in NHL history.

Sudden Death.

Bring it on!!

They’re handing the microphone to a local lady just in time for the National Anthem. And…the kids just left the room. Not because they’re unpatriotic. They just have Minecraft on their minds.

Listening to the local lady sing that National anthem with so many mixed feelings in this explosive era of history and yes, oh say does that STARS!!!!!! spangled banner yet wave…or the land of the free (Jesus, this lady is nailing the finish)…

….and just got reminded to help with the dishes. Shit shit shit! Hurry hurry hurry!

Dishes are done, Man…and I’m back in time to realize I’ve missed the puck drop. Awww, crap.

Chaos. Speed. Fury. This game is starting off just the way I’d hoped it would.

The Dog has started barking and Jamie Benn is being sent to the chopping block as Nichushkin wipes the blood off his face.

A chopping indeed. 4 minute power play for Colorado. Sweet Lord. That can’t be fair.

While the Stars play for their lives, can I mention how happy I am when I hear the stadium DJ play Metallica songs from Ride the Lightning and not just the same ol same ol Black album?

40 seconds left to kill this penalty and I swear it felt like Dallas was going to score. The Dog has gone from bark to attempted English. He’s saying “Penalty Finito!” as he struggles with his vocals.

Penalty killed, icing call on the Avalanche, and the crowd clangs their berserker spears in the stands.

The game is lit and time is moving too fast. The Modelos are kicking at my bladder.

Hockey Gods…hear my prayer. Please call a time out.

Prayers answered!

Coming back from the commercial break, I’m pretty sure the Av’s coach was looking down that reporter’s cleavage. Or it’s just really loud in that stadium and he was focused on her questions.

I digress. Game on!

Back and forth and so much intensity and…and first period over. Time to pee again? Damn that broken seal.

8:10pm and …we’re back.

Tied at 0.

Insanity and several offensive drives later and we are tied at 9 shots per team.

And Power Play Dallas and ….goddammit, the Avalanche just score on us.

What the shit is that? They had less people! We were in a Power Play. How embarrassing!!

I’m gonna just turn off the game and switch it over to Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. There’s no way we can recover from this. Season’s over. All is lost. Arghghgh!!!

No. No, Neal. No.

That’s the Cowboys Mentality talking. I’m Gonna watch the Stars until the last whistle blows.

And I’m glad I stayed. Ladies and Gentlemen (or Mutants. I have no idea who will read this)… with 12:30 left in the 3rd period, Dallas Has Scored!!!

The fans are alive again. I’m alive again! The dog, however, abandoned me long ago for the bed.

The fifth beer drained and this game just hit Ludicrous Speed.

Back and forth: almost scored that time.

Almost scored again.

Power Play Avs.

Wait, now it’s 4 on 4.

Power Play Stars.

Power Play Deez Nuts!

Mass hysteria!!!!

Something’s gonna happen soon….

And Dallas scores again! It’s a motherfucking tie!!!

Modano, Hatcher, Belfour and Hull…what a great shot.

6 minutes left and my soul is on fire.

And another Power Play for Dallas!

And another Score!!!!

Dallas…Stars….Dallas….Stars!!! (Let that Dimebag Darrell riff reign supreme.)

2 minutes left, get that puck the hell out of there!! We don’t want another tie.

1 minute remaining in the 3rd period and the crowd has reached a level best described as fucking bananas.

Colorado timeout and I remember I’ve got a load in the washer just waiting to be moved to the dryer. But I’ve got no time for such choring.

The Avalanche has emptied their net.

This is it.

41 seconds left.

Oettinger is now one with the cosmos, where time and Canadian accents no longer have meaning.

15 seconds left.

Hat Trick for MIKKO RANTANEN!!!!!!

Hats on the ice!!! Every fan in this stadium has just been raptured.

Dallas wins 4-2!!!!!

Every sport has their one thing that makes it magical.

Basketball has the alley-oop.

Soccer has that scoring headbutt goal.

Football has its Hail Mary.

Baseball its Grand Slam.

The Game 7 winning Hat trick at home with 2 seconds left in the game…that’s all yours, Hockey.

What a game.

And now on to the next round. And bed. Maybe Elder Scrolls: Oblivion. Either way, the Stars won. The city won. I feel I’ve won.